die empty

when i went to high school, there was a rule that every student must complete 40 hours of volunteer work to graduate.

i don’t know who came up with that rule — but at the time, i hated them.

see, most people just got a parent to sign off on it because nobody really checks.

but my parents were never big on shortcuts, so i was one of the chumps who got stuck actually volunteering.

my first 30 hours came from coaching soccer for little kids in the summer.

a few more came from school fundraisers & community events.

but when the deadline came around, i still had ~8 hours left to fill.

that’s when my mum suggested something i didn’t expect:

‘why don’t you volunteer at my work?’

at the time, she worked at a seniors’ home, so my gut response was ‘FUCK no.’

but when the only other option my school had was shovelling horse shit at a charity ranch, i figured chatting with some old people wouldn’t be so bad.

little did i know, that choice would lead to one of the most eye-opening experiences in my life.

see, one of the sad parts about visiting a seniors’ home is realizing how many of them have nobody left in their life at all.

most of their spouses had died.

most of their families lived far away.

& almost none of their old friends were alive or healthy anymore.

that’s why my ‘job’ there was simple:

‘just keep them company.’

every day, i’d arrive around lunchtime & chat with people who would otherwise be eating alone.

most conversations were what you’d expect — they’d ask about my life, tell me a story, & then give me some shitty brown candy that tasted like soap.

but as i got more comfortable with the ‘regulars,’ our conversations got real.

one of my favourites was a lady named Jean.

she always had a smile on her face, & she had dementia, which meant that every few minutes she’d repeat the same few stories.

i didn’t mind though — she laughed at all of my bad jokes as if it was the first time she heard them.

but every now & then, she’d have these moments of clarity where i could see her ‘unlock’ a new memory that her dementia was hiding from her.

those were the best moments.

one day, Jean was telling me a story from when her husband was still alive, & she got tears in her eyes.

i could see a memory coming back to her.

‘we never did end up going on that trip, did we?’

that moment hit me hard.

see, it’s one thing hearing a person’s regrets when they’re young, healthy, & still have the ability to do something about it.

but it’s a whole other thing when you both know it’s too late.

Jean lived a good life, & i don’t think any of us will die without regrets.

but both of us knew that she was on the final pages of her life’s story, & that feeling of helplessness stuck with me.

i decided that at the end of my life, i didn’t want to feel the same.

which leads to the quote that inspired this newsletter:

‘the most valuable real estate in the world is the graveyard.

there lie millions of half-written books, ideas never launched, & talents never developed.

most people die with everything still inside of them.

the way to live is to create.

die empty.

get every idea out of your head and into reality.’

~ Derek Sivers

i think about death a lot, because unlike taxes, it’s actually unavoidable.

that might seem like a shitty, depressing way to live life, but it’s one of the biggest reasons i don’t have bad days anymore.

when you remember that you’re gonna die, it becomes really hard to waste a single moment of your life.

it also makes you realize how small every single fear you have is.

the conversation Jean & i had that day was the first time i heard someone’s ‘deathbed regrets.’

but it wasn’t the last.

several others opened up to me about their regrets in life, & i couldn’t help but notice the same pattern in all of them.

none of them regretted the things they did do.

all of them regretted the things they didn’t do.

part of that is just human nature — we have a strong bias towards action.

but the thing that gets me is the reason for those regrets:

fear.

one man i spoke to never quit the job he hated because he feared ‘starting over’ in his 30s.

but he got sick just 2 years after retirement — what was it all for?

one lady was always grumpy, but i realized it was because she feared rejection, so she’d protect herself by rejecting everybody else first.

but she spent her life angry at the world — wasn’t that avoidable?

Jean never went on that trip with her husband because she feared it was ‘irresponsible’ at the time.

& maybe she was right!

but how much did that responsibility matter to her 40 years later?

of course, hindsight is 20/20.

it’s easier to say ‘i wish i did that thing’ than it is to calculate your life’s trajectory with & without it.

but i can’t help but wonder how many of those regrets could’ve been avoided if they remembered one simple truth:

we’re all gonna die.

as i type these words, i’m fully aware that all of them will probably outlive me.

look at this:

asdfghjklqwertyuiopzxcvbnm

^ those stupid random letters are literally gonna exist longer than i do.

i hate that.

but also… i kinda love it.

that’s because it reminds me of another simple truth:

when we die, we can’t take anything with us.

the entire mark of our existence on this planet is what we leave behind.

that’s a good thing.

it means that every single fear preventing you from taking a chance — going on that trip, quitting that job, talking to that stranger — it’s all outweighed by the fear that trumps them all:

death.

taking a chance is scary.

there are a million things that could go wrong — & sometimes, they do!

that’s why ‘most people die with everything still inside of them.’

but i can’t think of a bigger waste of this precious life than to simply exist, & have nothing to show for it.

if i didn’t write about Jean’s story, the lesson i learned would’ve died with me.

now, you can learn from it too.

maybe it’ll inspire you to turn your screen off & start creating something.

& maybe that thing you create will change the world for the better.

it sounds abstract, but that is literally the mechanism of how humanity makes progress in everything.

so if you take nothing else from this newsletter, please remember this:

create more than you consume.

take chances while you still can.

leave the world in a better place than you found it.

die empty.

some things i learned

1. the difference in personality traits between you & the top 1%
   the British Psychological Society compared the personality traits of rich people with the general population.
   
   when compared to everybody else, rich people are generally:
   - more open to experiences
   - more conscientious
   - more extraverted
   - less agreeable
   - less neurotic (i.e. less emotionally unstable)
   - more narcissistic
   - have a greater locus of control
   
   is it because rich people naturally have those traits?
   is it because being rich created those traits?
   or is it that developing those traits is what made them rich?
   
   my answer: probably a bit of all 3.
   

2. 40% of Americans from 18-22 say they feel addicted to social media
   if we swapped ‘social media’ with ‘alcohol’ in that sentence, it would be a national emergency. but somehow we’re all okay with a whole generation having their attention harvested for several hours each day.
   
   side note: if you feel addicted too, i made a free life calculator that might help.

   (it's free i promise)

3. how fizzy drinks hack our taste buds to make us love them
   ’CO₂ dissolved in liquid forms carbonic acid, which triggers pain receptors (TRPA1), not taste receptors. that mild irritation resets your palate between sips so you never get flavour fatigue. every sip hits like the first.’

cool stuff i found

1. a visual of why ‘honesty is the best policy’

   

2. a beautiful town in Mexico
   it doesn’t take long to realize why San Miguel de Allende is a UNESCO World Heritage Site — take a look:

   

3. a must-read article for everyone
   

   

   
   i believe high agency is the single most important trait to develop, full stop.
   
   if you don’t know what ‘high agency’ even means & why it matters, this article by George Mack will explain everything.
   
   i’ve been wanting to write about the topic for a while, but every time i try, i realize i don’t yet have enough to say that George didn’t say already.

   ---

anyways, that’s all for this week.

i’m putting more focus on video output this month, so you can expect to see more videos on my channel — starting with this one!

i rejected another sponsorship offer recently, which is both nerve-wracking & exciting at the same time.

part of me wants to just take every deal i’m offered, because it feels crazy turning down ‘easy money’ like this.

but my more rational (?) brain tells me that if i keep doing the work, i can always create better opportunities for myself out of thin air.

i’m pretty sure this is the worst i’ll ever be at this stuff, so i’m willing to bet on my own upside & keep putting my principles above a quick paycheck.

& when i look at it through the lens of ‘what would my 80y/o self regret not doing more?’ the answer is a no-brainer.

so yeah, i’m focusing on ‘dying empty’ — even if that means my pockets are a little emptier in the meantime.

go make yourself proud this week.

~ liam (:

PS - it’s been great working with you guys & getting to put faces to your names! i have no more slots this month, but i’ll let you know if/when that changes in May!