now that i have an online presence, people ask me for advice a lot.
i find this flattering, but also kinda crazy, because i only know about the stuff i write about — & sometimes not even that.
the truth is, even if i knew everything there is to know about the world (i don’t), when it comes to the subject of your life, there’s only 1 expert who has enough context to justify taking advice from:
you.
luckily, you can give yourself advice by asking the right questions.
here are 36 of them that i use all the time:
note: most of these aren’t original. i just didn’t keep the sources because this list started as a private note to self. oops.
questions to find your direction in life
what does a perfect day look like for you 5-10 years from now? don’t hold back, & be specific.
- where/when do you wake up?
- who are you with?
- what are you working on?
- how do you feel?
- what do you look like?
- what do you have planned?
what actions would you take if you wanted to guarantee that your life didn’t look like that perfect one you just described in 5-10 years?
- what would happen if you did the complete opposite?
- ^that’s your new to-do list^
what’s something you do for fun that others see as work?
- how can you use that to your advantage?
what’s something you can do all day long and feel good about?
- do you do enough of it?
who do you want to be more like? why?
who do you want to be less like? why?
who do you think of when you hear the word ______? why?
- successful
- smart
- kind
- funny
- well-dressed
- disciplined
- thoughtful
- curious
- happy
- etc.
questions to make you start
if someone followed you around for a week, would they believe you’re serious about your goals?
if your life was a movie, what would the audience be screaming for you to do right now?
what is the 1 thing that, if accomplished, would change everything?
how are you contributing to the conditions you say you don’t want?
what would it look like if it was easy?
- ‘it’ being the thing you’re struggling with
- what could you do to make that easy version of it possible?
what would your 85 year old self do if they got to spend a day in your shoes?
- are you doing enough of that? why or why not?
what are the common patterns of your best days?
- how can you do more of them?
what are the common patterns of your worst days?
- how can you do less of them?
questions to understand yourself better
if someone told you that they can tell how much you love yourself based on the partner you chose, how would that make you feel?
- swap out ‘partner’ for job, city, routine, etc. & answer again
what blessings in excess have become a curse?
- where do you have too much of a good thing?
what are some big things you’ve been wrong about in the past?
what are you most likely wrong about right now?
what’s something you think is true, but lack the evidence to prove it?
what’s something you think is BS, but lack the evidence to prove it?
when was the last time you went 24h without checking your phone? 12h? 6h? 3h? sleeping doesn’t count.
- what did you do instead?
- how did you feel?
do you believe in yourself more or less than you did 5 years ago? why?
what are some of the choices you’ve made that made you who you are?
- how many of them did you regret at some point?
if every decision you made recently was 100% permanent & would last forever, which ones would you choose differently for?
what’s the best lesson your mother/father taught you?
what was the last thing you changed your mind on?
what’s a lesson you had to learn the hard way?
questions to improve your relationships
which 10 people do you spend the most time with?
- do you feel better or worse after spending time with them?
- who’s alive that you wish was on that list, but isn’t?
- how can you change that?
- do your answers change if creators/celebrities count?
what conversation are you afraid to have? why?
- would it be worse if they heard the truth from someone else?
- what’s the cost of waiting too long?
what are the best compliments you’ve ever received? why?
when is the last time you gave someone a genuine compliment?
how do you feel when a friend calls/messages you out of the blue?
- when was the last time you did the same?
who do you miss most that’s still alive & accessible?
- why are you so scared of reaching out to them?
if you knew you were gonna die in 3 hours, who would you want to spend that time with?
- do you spend enough time with them now?
when was the last time you told your parent/sibling/partner/friend you loved them?
- what’s stopping you from doing it now?
some things i learned
how to set & keep habits
‘neuroplasticity rewards repetition, not intention.your brain doesn’t care that you wanted to exercise.
it only knows that you did exercise, 50 days in a row.
stop trying to want the outcome more.
start trying to repeat the behaviour more.’the easiest way to spot poor critical thinking skills
‘if your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. when you truly think for yourself, your conclusions will not be predictable.’
cool stuff i found
one of my favourite visuals ever
a few songs i’ve been listening to
every now & then, i like to share a few songs that i’ve been enjoying.
here’s 5, in no particular order:
- 2 lungs (ft. styllunknown) by Saiming (apple music | spotify | youtube)
- Open the Gate (Live) by Zach Bryan (apple music | spotify | youtube)
- L’hymne à L’amour by Celine Dion (apple music | spotify | youtube)
- What I’ve Done by LINKIN PARK (apple music | spotify | youtube)
- Show Me How by Men I Trust (apple music | spotify | youtube)
that’s all for now!
it feels worth mentioning that this newsletter has grown by about 200 people in the past week — an all-time record.
i’m honoured, & so excited to have you here now (:
hopefully this made your day a little bit better.
see you next time time!
~ liam
PS - my phone’s screen time is still at <30mins/day since switching to a CAT S22 flip phone. it’s officially the best purchase i’ve ever made. not sponsored/affiliated!
“a blank white page is the best mirror.”
~ John O’Donohue